Voice (speakup) wrote,
Voice
speakup

I chopped my hair off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Straight, angled forward, somewhere between my
earlobe and my shoulders.

It's become my new favorite thing to do: grow my hair out then at the mark of [insert whatever end of cycle, or begining of something] chop the shit off!!! It's very ritualized for me.

So...why i cut my hair off:

We're in that dark half of the year. I usually HATE this half. Because of fear. That whole introspection and personal underworld and solitude part. Ya know, not the warm fuzzy bunny shit. But this year, starting with a Samhain ritual, i activally dove in. I was like drivin the bus; UNDERWORLD, HERE I COME!

and it wasn't scary.

Some of it isn't pretty, but it's not scary! In fact, i got in here and found that I REALLY FREAKIN LIKE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really, truly, and now wholly like who i am. I act from my heart, and i LIKE MY HEART. It loves and gets pissed, it's misunderstands, it's courageous, it's loyal, it fights for what it believes in even when it's completely wrong, it apoligizes, it's haughty, it's calm, it listens, it's beautiful and ugly, it's wise. It's a miriad of other things, but you get the idea.

Here in the dark, I've found how much I diminish my strengths. To feel comfortable. To feel small. To feel humble. I've been carrying the feeling of "me being good at something is making someone else feel bad about themselves." Gone. Bye bye.

I'm flawed and I shine. I'm all things me. Bright and dull, sparkles and earth.

The weather is cold. And i usually hate cold. But right now, it's nice to see the cycle. I LIKE that things die. I like that the trees have to lose every single leaf before they can have new ones. It's amazing.

So i cut off my hair.

j
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  • 10 comments

  • Hey all!

    Life be good! Tons of good acting work; won a caberet show at Bar Natasha (it will be in November, haven't picked the weekend--will let you know);…

  • First time i've been on the computer since Jesus was a babe...

    Man,,, I's been busy! I literally haven't been on the computer in AGES! I'm scared to even open my e-mail! Been thinking of all of you! Love you!…

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    You scored as Pride. Pride 94% Lust 62% Gluttony 62% Envy 44% Sloth 44% Greed 12% Wrath…